The Problem with Pleasure

Discussion about women's sexual and personal wellness is an intricate task, laden with unique challenges. While the demand for knowledge and conversation is on the rise, vast limitations exist for those who attempt to navigate the landscape of wellness, sexuality and most specifically, pleasure. Understanding these limitations is crucial not only for companies, educators and influencers that champion the benefits of sexual wellness, but it is of equal importance for those who seek information, knowledge and products alike.

What exactly is the problem with pleasure? 

Meta, the parent company of Facebook and Instagram and Threads, as one example, maintains policies that limit the discussion and marketing of “pleasure” as it relates to female gendered sexuality on their platforms.

For example: Meta's rules prohibit ads that promote products "that focus on sexual pleasure or enhancement, such as sex toys or sexual enhancement products". They do allow ads promoting "sexual and reproductive health or wellness" such as "erectile dysfunction products" or those that prevent "premature ejaculation," Even if the media company evenly applied its rules there would still be gaps that could disproportionately harm women (per Jackie Rotman in a complaint filed with the Federal Trade Commission).

Rotman highlights how Meta’s rules create a double standard:

"We believe the (above) information should be allowed as an important and valuable part of men’s sexual health. However those topics are clearly about pleasure, illustrating the discrepancy and discriminatory aspects of how Facebook is writing its sexual pleasure policy,"

In January 2022, The Center for Intimacy Justice, reported a finding that the Facebook and Instagram parent company turned down ads from dozens of women's reproductive health groups on grounds they contained "adult content" or promoted "adult products and services." 

Women’s sexual health is different than men’s, and thus dysfunction is addressed differently. 

A difference in physiology demands a difference in resources and tools - so why the discrimination?  It is easily argued that products that aid women with certain sexual issues are stigmatized, i.e. personal massagers and vibrators, while a male gendered person can utilize a pharmaceutical solution, no stigma attached.

For Example: Quiver.love designs and manufactures storage bags for wand massagers, vibrators and other accessories.  The hurdle with this endeavor is the inability to communicate, market and advertise a product (zipper pouch) that holds a vibrator when the word vibrator is classified as “adult or pornographic content”.  

It is well documented that approximately 18.5% percent of women achieve orgasm with intercourse alone compared to men at 90%. The known orgasm gap is a significant barrier women face in achieving overall sexual and mental wellbeing. Coupled with physical sexual changes women experience before, during and after perimenopause and menopause including, but not limited to, painful sex. There is an astounding wealth of research, products, experts, professionals and educators that can help women improve their overall sexual health, but access to information is fundamental.

Women's sexual health, wellness, education and unfettered access to products and information is long overdue. When we know about existing limitations and how outdated social stigmas and regulations limit access to products and information we can better begin to understand the gender gap within the “Problem with Pleasure”.  

Sexual health is essential for overall personal health - that fact is un-gendered.  By advocating, educating and debunking archaic stigmas we can contribute to a more open and informed conversation around the power of pleasure as it directly relates to women's overall sexual and personal wellbeing.